Sandy Berger in happier days addressing his Chinese comrades (left) and Photoshop montage of the former Clinton national security advisor as he is today (based upon "Europe a Prophecy," 1794 relief and white-line etching with color printing and hand coloring by William Blake The William Blake Archive)
"The Pentagon announced today that the newly-released payroll records from President Bush's 1972 National Guard service* were discovered in the socks of Clinton-era national security advisor Samuel R. 'Sandy' Berger," reports ScrappleFace:
"We're still going through the trove of documents from Mr. Berger's socks," said an unnamed spokesman for the FBI. "It's like an archeological dig. I wouldn't be a bit surprised to find 18 minutes of Nixon White House tapes as we work our way down through the various strata of the Berger hosiery."
Mr. Berger released a statement to the media denying intentional wrongdoing in the matter, and claiming that "static electricity" often attracts items to his socks.
"In the future, I shall employ a popular dryer sheet which dissipates electrical charges," Mr. Berger said. "My failure to do so previously is just plain sloppiness."
In related news, "The 9/11 commission report released today blames the 2001 terror attacks on a 'failure of imagination' among government officials, and urges intelligence agencies to 'hire more evil people who could effectively anticipate acts of unrestrained wickedness.'"
*We know. It's election season, but whether it's Karl Rove or Lanny Davis chumming the waters, we hate being jerked around by this sort of thing.
Comments