The lusty month of May

Brian Williams of FOXNews nabs Wonkette for post-WHCA-dinner girl talk this afternoon. What a coup. Is she easy on the eyes, or what? And smart and funny and sweetly raunchy -- everything you could want in a FOXNews Inside-the-Beltway commentator. 'Wonder if it's exclusive?  We've seen her on MSNBC from time to time.  'Hope Roger Ailes has gotten her to forsake all others and cleave to FOXNews.

"After grabbing the mike from her husband at the White House Correspondents Dinner, First Lady Laura Bush proceeded to deliver a monologue that was edgier than what the night's headliner, Cedric the Entertainer, would ultimately attempt," writes Wonkette. We rarely check in over there -- she's just not our style -- but at a time like this, only Ana Marie Cox will do, and she always delivers:

Mother-in-law jokes, Desperate Housewives references, tales of strip club debauchery, and a zinger about the time George gave a hand-job to a horse.

"I am married to the President of the United States and here is our typical evening. Nine o'clock, Mr. Excitement here is sound asleep, and I am watching Desperate Housewives. With Lynne Cheney. Ladies and gentleman, I am a desperate housewife. I mean if those women on that show think they're desperate, they ought to be with George. One night after George went to bed, Lynne Cheney, Condi Rice, Karen Hughes and I went to Chippendales . . . I won't tell you what happened, but Lynne's Secret Service code name is now Dollar Bill."

Speaking of beauty cum rapier wit -- both Laura and Ana Marie come to mind -- the Common Floweringquince (Chaenomeles speciosa, above photo, a member of the Rose Family) are in full bloom (slightly before the leaves, although those are coming in now too) in the front yard. They're wicked hard to prune because of the thorns, but they bloom on both old and new wood, so you can prune most any time from early spring through fall.  Early spring is best because you can still see what you're doing without getting torn to shreds.

We caught the event in C-Span reruns in the wee hours, and it's true, Laura totally disarmed her husband's enemies. They still don't know what hit them. Thank you, Karen Hughes.  Our sis thinks Laura went too far, and we agree as far as lightly bashing the in-laws, but hey . . . Ya gotta take risks. Also, as we told Susan, we believe that Laura was speaking on a subliminal level to all the married women of America, saying it's okay to be desperate and mad about the big lug at the same time. Well, that's our theory, and we're sticking to it. Our number one favorite line was the one about how Laura would have never mentioned the Chippendales evening except for the fact that Ruth Bader Ginsberg and Sandra Day O'Connor saw her and her female companions there -- that and her observation that one of the big differences between her and her husband is the fact that she can pronounce "nuclear."

Update:  Reader Ian Schwartz of The Political Teen (We love the sound of that . . . It gives us hope for the future of our species) has a link to the video. Thanks so much, Ian.

Update II:  Here's a link to the transcript at USA Today.

Comments

[Jeff Boulier]

The fruit of the flowering quince is wonderful -- much better and more fragrant than the ordinary quince that you would find in the stores. They're not self-fertile, though, so you'll need to get your quince a "special friend" if you want to give it a try.

[Sissy Willis]

Are we talking the birds and the bees here?

[Donna B.]

Reading about Laura's speech has almost convinced me to hook my speakers up. Has anyone come up with a transcript yet?

[Sissy Willis]

Hey, Donna B., go ahead and hook 'em up. Tuck just listened to the video on his computer and was LOL.

[Teresa]

I have always loved Laura Bush. She is soooo good at handling the press - just cutting them off at the knees. It's an art form that is lovely to behold. *grin*

[Sissy Willis]

Yes. She is the first among First Ladies. :)

[Mr.Kurtz]

Tempest in a thimble.

I guess I didn't hear it as mother-in-law bashing. One; I've never heard of any particular tensions that way, and two: Laura Bush doesn't nearly strike me as dumb enough to bash Barbara. It would scare me.

These two women have completely redefined the term First Lady.