If you're still uncertain about SpongeBob's agenda, parse this question: "Why did you eat my boots, Mr. Krabs?"
"JAMES DOBSON IS BLOWING IT with his attacks on SpongeBob," writes InstaPundit, adding "I had forgotten, until Rand Simberg emailed to remind me, that the question of SpongeBob's sexuality has already been settled, inasmuch as "sponges reproduce by both asexual and sexual means."
All very cute and wonderful and true, and we totally agree that hysterical and humorless fundamentalist types -- "American mullahs" in the felicitous words of Seamus of 3martini, linked by the Professor -- are missing the whole point about SpongeBob (who happens to be in the asexual phase of his poriferan lifecycle) and only using him as a prop in their homophobic fantasies.
We blogged here recently about SpongeBob's recent outing in the kiddy-targeted pro-tolerance video-cum-online pledge from the folks at the We Are Family Foundation -- the one that's getting James Dobson's panties in a bunch, as LDotters would say -- noting the similarity between WAFF's online "tolerance pledge" and the temperance pledge signed by our mother as a little girl in the nineteen twenties.
But here's what's really wrong with SpongeBob's sellout to WFF. Animated artificial sponges who hold hands with starfish under the sea are not the problem. It's the lie at the heart of the online pledge kids are asked to sign:
Tolerance is a personal decision that comes from a belief that every person is a treasure. I believe that America's diversity is its strength. I also recognize that ignorance, insensitivity and bigotry can turn that diversity into a source of prejudice and discrimination.
Not. Tolerance comes from the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. We do not tolerate others whose essence for whatever reason -- noise level, political philosophy, body odor, color of ears, lack of backbone -- offends us because we believe that "every person is a treasure." Fortunately, no kid is going to buy that. They know a naked emperor when they see one.